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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: woooo! >> stephen: what's going on? >> jon: i see you! i see you! >> stephen: thank you so much, everybody. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. guess who's back? hillary clinton. ( cheers and applause ) just this afternoon, she she emerged from the woods. just this afternoon, she appeared here in new york at an event hosted by "women for women international." and the moderator, christiane amanpour, interviewed secretary clinton and asked her about the 2016 campaign. >> what do you imagine your election as the first female president of the united states might have said to the world and to the women of the world who were looking for validation, for somebody to shatter that highest and hardest ceiling? >> oh, i think it would have been a really big deal. and i think that um... ( applause ) >> stephen: yeah, it would have been a big deal. (
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: woooo! >> stephen: what's going on? >> jon: i see you! i see you! >> stephen: thank you so much, everybody. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. guess who's back? hillary clinton. ( cheers and applause ) just this afternoon, she she emerged from the woods. just this afternoon,...
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down low, waking up with jon batiste today. and if you use a clock as an alarm clock, what's wrong with you? you can't make calls on that thing! you're welcome. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: thank you, jon. thank you, sir. you at home can get all those tunes on our website colbertlateshow.com. we'll be right back with gaberet sidibay. stick around. i was out hemo . that was it for me. that's why i'm quitting with nicorette. only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. it starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. every great why needs a great how. every great why what's it say? is it the cure for malaria? has the war ended? a prince wants to give us 20 million dollars, he just needs our social security numbers. we're gonna be rich!!! horses for everyone! the first spam was sent by telegraph in 1864. huh. put some flavor in your break. make time for snapple you plan to capture every moment. ♪ ♪ ment captures you. ♪ experience moe as
down low, waking up with jon batiste today. and if you use a clock as an alarm clock, what's wrong with you? you can't make calls on that thing! you're welcome. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: thank you, jon. thank you, sir. you at home can get all those tunes on our website colbertlateshow.com. we'll be right back with gaberet sidibay. stick around. i was out hemo . that was it for me. that's why i'm quitting with nicorette. only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving...
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May 5, 2017
05/17
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tonight stephen welcomes charles barkley, debra winger and comedian sarah tollemache featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: hey. >> hey! >> stephen: good to see you. good to see you. hey, ladies and gentlemen, please. welcome to the late show. welcome to the late show. i'm your host, stephen colbert. first of all, happy star wars shall star wars day, everybody, may the fourth be with you. also i think the republicans may have fourthed you off your health insurance because the house voted to repeal and replace obamacare just a few hours ago. for more let's go to our congressional-- no, i know the feeling. let's go to our congressional reporter ben. ben, what was that moment like? >> as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror. >> stephen: thanks, ben. now, he's a good kid. now when they tried to pass this kind of bill back in march moderate republicans thought that it was too harsh. while conservative republicans thought it was too soft. the only person who thought i
tonight stephen welcomes charles barkley, debra winger and comedian sarah tollemache featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: hey. >> hey! >> stephen: good to see you. good to see you. hey, ladies and gentlemen, please. welcome to the late show. welcome to the late show. i'm your host, stephen colbert. first of all, happy star wars shall star wars day, everybody,...
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May 5, 2017
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jon batiste and stay human right over there. >> stephen: now before we get going here, before we get going here i just want to let everybody know once again that i'm coming up on my 20th anniversary of working in late night. i started over at the the old show, the show before that, jon stewart back in 1997. and-- (cheers and applause). >> stephen: we're not on the air for the week of my anniversary so instead next tuesday we're going to have on my old friends jon stewart, we're going to have on john oliver, sam bee, ed helms and rob cord dree are all-- corddry and are going to be here, maybe others. now jon, speaking of surprises, you have some very talented and wonderful guests, please explain who is sitting with the band. >> jon: celebrating the 65th birthday of the late great sharon jones, we have the da (applause). >> stephen: thank you so much for being here. thank you for being here. always wonderful to have you and sharon here on this show or the old show, and she will always be remembered with great pleasure and great love. thank you so much for being here on the show tonight
jon batiste and stay human right over there. >> stephen: now before we get going here, before we get going here i just want to let everybody know once again that i'm coming up on my 20th anniversary of working in late night. i started over at the the old show, the show before that, jon stewart back in 1997. and-- (cheers and applause). >> stephen: we're not on the air for the week of my anniversary so instead next tuesday we're going to have on my old friends jon stewart, we're...
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May 27, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: wooo! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: >> stephen: welcome to "the late show,"" everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. it's friday. it's friday. ( cheers and applause ) that's not just any friday crowd. that is the friday crowd before the friday before summer begins. it is summer, ladies and gentlemen. congratulations. you made it. that's it! that's it. i'm going to get a tan, man. i'm going to get a tan this summer. i'm doing the cocoa butter. it's going to be fantastic. yes, i am. i'm going to do the cocoa butter. i'm going to smell-- i'm going to smell like a buffet at a jimmy buffet restaurant. it's the first day of ramadan. happy ramadan, or whatever emotion goes with ramadan. i don't entirely know whether it's a happy day. hungry ramadan. just have a good one, that's all i ask. donald trump is still out of the country. ( cheers and applause ) we still have time to change the
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: wooo! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: >> stephen: welcome to "the late show,"" everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. it's friday. it's friday. ( cheers and applause ) that's not just any friday crowd. that is the friday crowd before the friday before summer begins. it is summer, ladies and gentlemen. congratulations....
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May 25, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that was nice. hey, everybody! what's going on? hey! you're too kind. ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( applause ) thank you very much, very kind. well, president trump is still on his semester abroad, getting his extra credits. and he might want to stay over there for a while until firemen can put out his budget proposal. because not only does nobody like it, but it turns out it has a huge mistake in it. not the part about cutting funding for cancer research. that's one of his passion projects. it turns out that the entire budget is based on a $2 trillion math error. yes, that's trillion, with a "t." now, there's a simple explanation for how this happened: donald trump is an idiot. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: or-- or-. ( cheers and applause ) or he's lying. because his budget claims there will be mag
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that was nice. hey, everybody! what's going on? hey! you're too kind. ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( applause ) thank you very much, very kind. well, president trump is still on his semester abroad, getting his extra credits. and he might want to stay over...
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May 19, 2017
05/17
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and musical guest xx featuring jon batiste and stay human. andow n live live from tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: whooo! whooo! (cheers and applause). >> welcome, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the late show. i'm your host, stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you very much. you know, the word dumpster fire gets thrown around so casually these days. but when a special counsel gets appointed to investigate your administration just four months in, that's a new high and low. i mean this thing, i mean this is just the beginning of this, okay. he just gets put in. he has the ability to spp, to empanel grand juries, this is a snowball just at the top of a hill right now. if the snow were brown and came out of the back of a bull. >> jon: oh man. >> stephen: don't get in its way is what i'm saying. now the announcement of the special counsel s everyone, including the white house which reportedly only got 30 minutes warning before the announcement went
and musical guest xx featuring jon batiste and stay human. andow n live live from tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: whooo! whooo! (cheers and applause). >> welcome, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the late show. i'm your host, stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you very much. you know, the word dumpster fire gets thrown around so casually these days. but when a special counsel...
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May 9, 2017
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jon batiste and bad band right there! say hi to that band right there! ( piano riff ) hey, jon! hey, jon, did you have a good weekend? >> yes, yes, i had a great weekend. >> stephen: what did you do. >> jon: friday was great, man. >> stephen: friday? >> jon: friday was awesome. >> stephen: the weekend kicked off great. >> jon: kicked off good. >> stephen: friday, amazing. ( cheers and applause ) and listen, just a quick reminder to you and all you people out there and of course the lovely people at home watching in their underwear, tomorrow night, tuesday, you're going to want to stop by again, it's a very special show. i'll be getting back together with my old friends jon stewart, samantha bee, john oliver and rob corddry. ( cheers and applause ) only one of these is made up. it's going to be great. as many of you know by now, i'm a catholic. of the roman persuasion. but i don't often go to mass that often because they're not as chill about me watching "veep" on my phone as i wo and i really miss my favorite catholic tradition -- confession. so, if you don't mind, i'd like to c
jon batiste and bad band right there! say hi to that band right there! ( piano riff ) hey, jon! hey, jon, did you have a good weekend? >> yes, yes, i had a great weekend. >> stephen: what did you do. >> jon: friday was great, man. >> stephen: friday? >> jon: friday was awesome. >> stephen: the weekend kicked off great. >> jon: kicked off good. >> stephen: friday, amazing. ( cheers and applause ) and listen, just a quick reminder to you and all you...
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give it up for jon batiste and stay human. good to see you. that was fun. ( cheers and applause ) that was fun. you don't get to sing a song with paul simon every day. >> jon: oh, yeah, that was so fun. >> stephen: that's why you're in this business. >> jon: that's right. >> stephen: that and for the free coffee. folks, you might remember that trump had a phone call with philippines president rodrigo duterte. trump apparently had a "very friendly conversation with duterte," and he even invited him to the white house. that's a very exclusive invitation. usually, you want to save that kind of honor for a true statesman, like ted nugent. ( laughter ) now, trump cozying up to duterte and that is kind of messed up because duterte has declared a war on drugs, and in the past year, philippine national police officers and unidentified vigilantes have killed over and di did youa isn't just the y who talks the talk. when he was a small-town mayor, "i used to do it personally. i would go around with a motorcycle looking for trouble." can you imagine what
give it up for jon batiste and stay human. good to see you. that was fun. ( cheers and applause ) that was fun. you don't get to sing a song with paul simon every day. >> jon: oh, yeah, that was so fun. >> stephen: that's why you're in this business. >> jon: that's right. >> stephen: that and for the free coffee. folks, you might remember that trump had a phone call with philippines president rodrigo duterte. trump apparently had a "very friendly conversation with...
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May 11, 2017
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> jon: i like that! >> stephen: good to see you! ( cheers and applause ) hey! thank you, everybody. thank you, so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. i feel the same way about you. well i have-- i have gone through a lot of thoughts today. it's been a historic day. we have reached a milestone as a nation. it's not just that the president fired the head of the f.b.i. okay. no, here's the milestone-- we have apparently elected a president who truly does not care what anything looks like. which is surprising fair guy whose actual face we've never seen. ( laughter ) now-- no idea. >> jon: man, man. nope. >> stephen: firing jim comey, head of the f.b.i., really feels like authoritarianism 101. which, by the way, a very difficult class. the es tol nazi. ( cheers and applause ) yeah,
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> jon: i like that! >> stephen: good to see you! ( cheers and applause ) hey! thank you, everybody. thank you, so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. i feel the same way about you. well i have-- i have gone through a lot...
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May 26, 2017
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featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. what an amazing audience. amazing. you guys are fantastic. you guys are a shot of espresso with a twist. thank you so much. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) very nice, very nice. hey, you know a couple weeks ago when house republicans passed their healthcare plan? they were so excited about providing the affordable healthcare to everyone, that they didn't wait to find out if they were providing affordable healthcare to anyone. ( laughter ) well, the congressional budget office finally crunched the numbers on their plan and, unlike their first plan, which would have 24 million people off health insurance, this one will leave only 23 million more americans uninsured. just 23 million, okay? that's it. >> jon: wow. >> stephen: 23. to put t
featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) thank you so much. what an amazing audience. amazing. you guys are fantastic. you guys are a shot of espresso with a twist. thank you so much. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) very nice, very nice....
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May 12, 2017
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tonight stephen welcomes mayim bialik, andy karl and ramy yousseff, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: whoo! captioning sponsored by cbs hey! thank you! whoo! you're too kind! please, thank you so much. welcome to the late show. i'm stephen colbert. well, the last 24 hours have just raised more questions about why donald trump fired f.b.i. director james comey. okay. no one seems to know why. donald trump doesn't seem to know why. ( laughter ) first, he said it was based on the recommendation of assistant attorney general and 50-year-old just hitting puberty, rod rosenstein. ( laughter ) hang in there, rod. trump even sent mike pence out there to repeat it. "what are you going to do? rod says he's gotta go. rod's the man." some people were skeptical that this was true. for instance, rod rosenstein, who said, and i'm paraphrasing, "what? no! sorry, fellas, no." at one point, rosenstein actually threatened to quit. it will be detailed in his t
tonight stephen welcomes mayim bialik, andy karl and ramy yousseff, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: whoo! captioning sponsored by cbs hey! thank you! whoo! you're too kind! please, thank you so much. welcome to the late show. i'm stephen colbert. well, the last 24 hours have just raised more questions about why donald trump...
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May 16, 2017
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welcome danny mcbride, jane krakowski and musical guest metallica, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: thank you. thank you so much! please! have a seat. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. well, ladies and gentlemen, i've got good news and bad news. the bad news: the washington post reports that trump revealed highly classified information to the russian foreign minister and ambassador. good news: trump found the leaker. ( laughter ) it was fast. fast. ( applause ) here's the deal. when kislyak and lavrov -- is that his name -- in the oval office last week, trump apparently went off script and began describing details about an islamic state terrorist threat. that is unbelievable. trump has a script? ( laughter ) i don't believe that for a minute. i need intel on that. >> yeah, i need that, too. >> stephen: the information is so sensitive, the article can't describe in detail what was shared, but one official
welcome danny mcbride, jane krakowski and musical guest metallica, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: thank you. thank you so much! please! have a seat. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. well, ladies and gentlemen, i've got good news and bad news. the bad news: the washington post reports...
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May 2, 2017
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, thank you, jon batiste, stay human, everybody. (applause). >> stephen: thank you, sir. now jon, i just have a couple-- i just got a couple more things to say about done all trump while we're at it, if you don't mind. if you don't mind, i just don't want to let these go. you know we have been talking about done all trump on the show for awhile. and i'm sure you are saying to yourself, but wait, stephen, when is done all trump going to way in on civil war history. (laughter) i'm going to pretend it you're thinking that. well, you're in luck because just this morning the trump sound bite train pulled into sirious radio. >> we had andrew jackson been a little bit later you wouldn't have had the civil war. and he was-- he was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the civil war. he said there is no reason for this. >> stephen: exactly. exactly. andrew jackson said there is no reason for this, okay. he said we don't need a civil war. all my slaves are perfectly happy. now and one rarely hears this, in fairness to and
, thank you, jon batiste, stay human, everybody. (applause). >> stephen: thank you, sir. now jon, i just have a couple-- i just got a couple more things to say about done all trump while we're at it, if you don't mind. if you don't mind, i just don't want to let these go. you know we have been talking about done all trump on the show for awhile. and i'm sure you are saying to yourself, but wait, stephen, when is done all trump going to way in on civil war history. (laughter) i'm going to...
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tonight stephen welcomes mayim bialik, andy karl and comedian ramy youssef, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: woo! hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ thank you! woo! you're too kind! please, everybody, thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. well, the last 24 hours-- the last 24 hours have just raised more questions about why donald trump fired f.b.i. director james comey. okay. no one seems to know why. donald trump doesn't seem to know why. ( laughter ) because here's the deal-io. first, he said it was based on the recommendation of assistant attorney general and 50-year-old just hitting puberty, rod rosenstein. ( laughter ) hang in there, rod. now, trump even sent out mike pence to repeat that idea. you know, pence had to go out there and go, "what are you going to do? rod says he's got to go. rod's the man. our hands were tied." now, some people were skeptical that this was the reason. for instance, peop
tonight stephen welcomes mayim bialik, andy karl and comedian ramy youssef, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: woo! hey! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ thank you! woo! you're too kind! please, everybody, thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. well, the last 24 hours-- the last 24 hours have just raised...
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May 17, 2017
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey! thank you so much! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. please, have a seat. too nice. welcome to "the late show." welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you be the old saying, "elections have consequences?" right now, we are knee deep in a steaming pile of consequence. ( laughter ) because right now, things that are self-evidently bad are being sold to us by people who know better as perfectly okay. the latest is that the president of the united states, in the oval office revealed highly classified information to the russian foreign minister and ambassador. it is the worst presidential security breach since reagan said this: >> mr. gorbachev, our nuclear launch codes are 17, 26, 5 with a powerball of 37. ( laughter ) ( cheers
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey! thank you so much! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. please, have a seat. too nice. welcome to "the late show." welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you be...
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May 16, 2017
05/17
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welcome danny mcbride, jane krakowski and musical guest metallica, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now live on tape fromhe t ed sullivan theater iw city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: thank you. thank you so much! please! have a seat. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. well, ladies and gentlemen, i've got good news and bad news. the bad news: the washington post reports that trump revealed highly classified information to the russian foreign minister and ambassador. good news: trump found the
welcome danny mcbride, jane krakowski and musical guest metallica, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now live on tape fromhe t ed sullivan theater iw city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: thank you. thank you so much! please! have a seat. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. well, ladies and gentlemen, i've got good news and bad news. the bad news: the washington post reports that...
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May 24, 2017
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey! >> stephen: sparkly. >> audience: stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey, everybody, please, have a seat. you're too kind. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much. donald trump may be out of the country, but he is still the toast of washington. or whatever reason he's that color. i think it's toasting. ( laughter ) just today, this morning, the trump administration unveiled their 2018 budget, titled, "a new foundation for american greatness," which is just slightly grandiose for a financial document. it's like calling your grocery list "a bold vision for yogurt and dog food." not a lot on that list. now, that foundation of america's greatness? what he's building that on? it turns out he's building out of ofthe ground-up bones of poor people because this budget cuts things like the food stamp progr
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! hey! >> stephen: sparkly. >> audience: stephen! stephen! >> stephen: hey, everybody, please, have a seat. you're too kind. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much. donald trump may be out of the country, but he is still the toast of...
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May 20, 2017
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: hey! hey! >> stephen: yes! hey, everybody! thank you so much. oh, listen to that. listen to that. we've been keeping this audience-- we've been keeping this audience in the crisper. they are absolutely fresh. you can't mistake a friday audience. >> jon: you can't mistake a friday audience. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: that's explosive. welcome to "the late show,"" ladies and gentlemen. i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy friday! this is a big friday because donald trump has left on his first overseas trip as president. and i hear there's a whans that when he returns, he'll still be president. ( laughter ) and with trump gone, you know what that means-- we have the whole country to ourselves for the weekend. ( cheers and applause ) party at the white house! party at the white house! you know, you know pence is throwing a rager this weekend. ( laughte
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: hey! hey! >> stephen: yes! hey, everybody! thank you so much. oh, listen to that. listen to that. we've been keeping this audience-- we've been keeping this audience in the crisper. they are absolutely fresh. you can't mistake a friday audience. >> jon: you can't mistake a friday audience. ( cheers and applause )....
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May 31, 2017
05/17
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give it up for jon batiste and stay human right there! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey! >> stephen: good to see you. good to see you. jon. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ now, you and i are friends. you and i are friends. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: you all may not know out there is that jon and i have deep conversations sometimes. >> jon: oh, yeah, we get deep, we get deep. >> stephen: we do. i'll sitth >> jon: yep. >> stephen: and we talk about the problems of the universe sometimes. just after the show, just sit there and chew the fat. >> jon: you don't always get answers, but you get interesting thoughts and ideas, and you live your life and keeping about on that. >> stephen: i find the questions sometimes are more important than the answers, unless you're going to the doctor. >> jon: then you want the answers. ( laughter ) >> stephen: but it's not surprising that we talk deep, because i'm a deep guy. which is why sometimes i'll ponder life's big questions, like "what is the true definition of happiness?" and "what's the meaning of love?" and "who stole m
give it up for jon batiste and stay human right there! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey! >> stephen: good to see you. good to see you. jon. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ now, you and i are friends. you and i are friends. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: you all may not know out there is that jon and i have deep conversations sometimes. >> jon: oh, yeah, we get deep, we get deep. >> stephen: we do. i'll sitth >> jon: yep. >> stephen: and we talk...
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May 10, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! what's going on? ( cheers and applause ) >> what's going on, man? >> jon: what's going on? >> stephen: how was your weekend? >> jon: great. >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen? >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. huge story that broke just minutes ago, like, less than 10 minutes ago. f.b.i. director james comey has just been fired by donald trump. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: wooo! >> stephen: huge, huge donald trump fans here tonight. that shows no gratitude at all. >> jon: man. >> stephen: did trump forget about the hillary emails that comey talked about? i mean "thanks for the presidency, jimmy. now don't let the door hit you where the electoral college spli i'm shocked. my heart is pumping. my pulse is racing. he fired the f.b.i. director who has said under oath that he's investigating the trump campaign's ties to russia. no rational
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! what's going on? ( cheers and applause ) >> what's going on, man? >> jon: what's going on? >> stephen: how was your weekend? >> jon: great. >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen? >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. huge story that broke just minutes ago, like,...
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May 18, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! hey! hey! ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. hey! ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy wednesday, everybody. to start it off, happy wednesday. there's nothing like a wednesday crowd. ( cheers and applause ) hump day! hump day! hump day, of course, because it's the best day to make love. ( laughter ) no, it is. it's great. you've got work together, you're tired. ultimate night. ( laughter ) now, let's see, ladies and gentlemen, there's no getting around it. there's a huge scandal out of the white house. no, not that scandal. or the one before one tomorrow. although, technically, they're all part of one big scandal stroganoff. here's what's going on. "the new york times" is reporting that back in february, president trump asked f.b.i. dire
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wooo! hey! hey! ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much. hey! ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show"." i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy wednesday, everybody. to start it off, happy wednesday. there's nothing like a wednesday crowd. ( cheers and applause ) hump day!...
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May 13, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: yeah, wooo! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey! how are you? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, what's up? good to see you. what's going on? thank you very much. you cannot keep a friday crowd down. that's the problem right there. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. it is. ( cheers and applause ) it is friday. i think we all need a weekend. except james comey. his started on tuesday. ( laughter ) and ever since comey was fired, folks at the f.b.i. have been feeling pretty demoralized. in fact, when asked for a comment, one veteran f.b.i. agent told a reporter, "who cares? nothing matters. no one knows anything. everything sucks." ( laughter ) i believe we have a photo of that agent: ( laughter ) come on, f.b.i. there's got to be something that would cheer you up. you've got those storage lockers filled with cocaine an
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: yeah, wooo! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey! how are you? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, what's up? good to see you. what's going on? thank you very much. you cannot keep a friday crowd down. that's the problem right there. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen...
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May 4, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! >> stephen: oh! what's up? thank you very much! oh, what a lovely audience. ladies and gentlemen, welcome t" i'm your host,te ( cheers and applause ) still? am i still the host? i'm still the host! ( cheers and applause ) now, folks, if you saw my monologue monday, you know that i was a little upset with donald trump for insulting a friend of mine. so at the end of that monologue i had a few choice insults for the president in return. i don't regret that. ( cheers and applause ) i believe he can take care of himself. i have jokes. he has the launch codes. so it's a fair fight. so while i would do it again, i would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. now, i'm not going to repeat the phrase, but i just want to say, for the record, life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person their own way is, to me, an americ
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! >> stephen: oh! what's up? thank you very much! oh, what a lovely audience. ladies and gentlemen, welcome t" i'm your host,te ( cheers and applause ) still? am i still the host? i'm still the host! ( cheers and applause ) now, folks, if you saw my monologue monday, you know that i was a little upset with donald...
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May 5, 2017
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batiste and stay human. and now live from the ed
batiste and stay human. and now live from the ed
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May 3, 2017
05/17
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause )
featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause )
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May 23, 2017
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tonight, stephen welcomes rachel maddow, ben platt and "stay human," featuring jon batiste. now live on top at the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hey, man! good to see you, doctor! ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much! please have a seat! you're too kind. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. now, i don't know about you, but i've got a little extra pep in my step tonight because donald trump has left the country. ( cheers and applause ) breathing a little easier. federal judges, now would be a good time to reinstate that travel ban. ( laughter ) he's flying back from a dangerous part of the world. he said some radical stuff. i'm just saying, extreme vetting. that's all i'm asking for. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) where does his money come from, so many unknowns. his first stop this weekend was saudi arabia, where trump was greeted on the tarmac by king salman. that's nice. not all royalty will dune airport pickup. ( laughter ) just
tonight, stephen welcomes rachel maddow, ben platt and "stay human," featuring jon batiste. now live on top at the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hey, man! good to see you, doctor! ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much! please have a seat! you're too kind. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. now, i don't know about you, but i've got a...